Shattered Glass
I am Stephen J Cogler, a famous and a rich neuro surgeon from Sydney, Australia. I had been practicing in Austria before I had met my wife, Cathy, who was a professor of English at the University of Sydney. I had met her at one of my conferences at the University of Sydney, where I was invited as a chief guest. I fell in love with her soon enough and frequented my visits to meet her at the University during the next few days. Sadly, I had to return back to Austria, but I knew I had left my heart in Sydney. Not surprisingly, Cathy and I had got married three years ago to this day. I can still remember it as if it were only yesterday. The Church was buzzing with all the wedding guests who had come to bless us that day. A very devoted wife and a wonderful person, she had a great sense of humor and we shared similar tastes, which made us a perfect couple. We honeymooned in Paris.
In the first year of our marriage, I had to continue working in Austria. In spite of my frequent visits to Sydney, I felt that I needed to shift base from Austria. As a surprise for our first anniversary I moved to Sydney from Austria and renewed my practice here. We were happy and I felt that the time was right for us to have a child. I mentioned this to Cathy. She seemed hesitant at the moment but seemed to embrace the idea after sometime. I didn’t want to rush her through this and we never discussed it again. A few days later, she said she was ready to have a baby. I was delighted. I planned for a very romantic weekend at the beach house that I had bought a few weeks ago. In spite of a very hectic work schedule, we used to spend time together every weekend on pleasure trips through the country.
I still remember that weekend when we went to the mountains. It was a beautiful sight and Cathy couldn’t have chosen a better time and place to inform me the news of my life that I was going to be a father. There was no limit to my happiness but Cathy seemed unhappy. I tried to find out many a times but she would never tell me and would put it off for later. My work got so hectic in the coming weeks that we met each other only at night and never had much time to talk. Sensing her dissatisfaction, I intended to take the next week off and postponed all of my appointments. I needed her to know that I was there for her. I could not even dream of being that person who would regret later for not having spent enough time with his loved one. I took her to a resort on an Island near New Zealand. It was six a.m. in the morning when I woke her up and took her to the entrance of our hut. It was the most beautiful sight of the sun rising on horizon across the ocean. I said “Isn’t it beautiful?” She nodded in agreement. “But, not as beautiful as you will be” saying this I slipped a diamond necklace on her neck. She was speechless. I whispered, “I love you.” I could see the joy in her eyes and tears rolling down her beautiful red cheeks. I was glad to see her happy. She was all I had in my life. I always believed that I could keep her happy. As I was raised an orphan, I never knew the love of a parent. I wanted to have a child with her and I knew this would make us both very happy and proud.
We were nearing our second anniversary and she was four months pregnant. I planned to have a grand celebration at our place. I intended to surprise her by inviting her relatives. She loved her mother dearly and I knew she would be very happy to see her family. The day before our anniversary was a very bad day for me at the hospital. It was the first time that all of my surgeries resulted in the death of the patients. They were complicated surgeries and I knew there wasn’t much hope for success. But what were the odds of four unsuccessful surgeries in a day. It was frustrating. I had never felt myself tremble that much. I rushed home hoping to be comforted by my wife. I drove there as fast as I could. I was surprised to find my house locked. It was seven in the evening and I had expected Cathy to be home. I tried her mobile, but all I got was her voice mail. I called the University but I received no response. This worried me and I drove frantically to the office, only to be informed that she had already left. I tried her mobile again. Yet again, her voice mail greeted me. Not knowing what to do, I decided to wait for her at home and drove back. I was delighted to see the door unlocked and rushed in to find Cathy in the bedroom. I hugged her and told her how worried I was for the past half hour. She hesitated to tell me where she had been and noticing my weariness advised me get some sleep. Though I wondered why she was hesitant, I thought it would be best to discuss it later.
Later at dinner that night, I told her that we would be celebrating our anniversary at home. I noticed that she was unenthusiastic and sober. I asked her if everything was alright. I sensed that her gloominess had something to do with her absence that evening. I had never seen her so quiet and uncomfortable. Where she had been? and Why isn’t she telling me? were the only questions on my mind. For some reason the frustration of my days work had disappeared and my concern for her began to escalate. I sensed something was amiss. I asked her again for what had happened. She swallowed her food, took a deep breath and in a soft voice told me “Steve, I got an abortion”. I was dumbstruck. She continued “I always wanted to tell you that I could never love you. I am in love with someone else. He is my colleague at the University. I married you only because you are rich and thought being rich would make me happy. But I realize that it was a mistake. I don’t want this life anymore Steve, I want to be with someone I love. I know you love me very much and I always tried to reciprocate but I am sorry, I cannot keep up the act any more. I am sorry Steve.” She got off the table and went up to the bedroom. I was emotionless. My stomach felt weird and I lost my appetite. I sat there in disbelief. How could this happen. Where did I go wrong? Was she out of her mind? This can’t be right. Surely this is a dream. But it wasn’t. A door slammed above and brought me out of my thoughts. I looked around. Everything looked different. It was as if I had been orphaned again. I had lost all sense of belonging. I sat there staring blankly at first, then laughing, then crying, laughing again with tears rolling from my eyes. I could not understand what was happening to me and sat there laughing and crying at my own misery. There was nothing I could do about it, she had aborted my child and left me in the dark for ever. I left the house and went to get myself a drink. I am not sure how much I drank that night. I vaguely remember the bartender dropping me off at my door step. The next thing I knew, I woke up with a bad headache from the couch, thinking it to be a dream. The date on the calendar reminded me that it was our anniversary. I went up to the bedroom to find Cathy, still unsure of what had happened last night. But she was no where to be seen.
I am Stephen. J. Cogler, an unsuccessful husband sentenced for a life time in prison for the murder of Cathy. J. Cogler.
In the first year of our marriage, I had to continue working in Austria. In spite of my frequent visits to Sydney, I felt that I needed to shift base from Austria. As a surprise for our first anniversary I moved to Sydney from Austria and renewed my practice here. We were happy and I felt that the time was right for us to have a child. I mentioned this to Cathy. She seemed hesitant at the moment but seemed to embrace the idea after sometime. I didn’t want to rush her through this and we never discussed it again. A few days later, she said she was ready to have a baby. I was delighted. I planned for a very romantic weekend at the beach house that I had bought a few weeks ago. In spite of a very hectic work schedule, we used to spend time together every weekend on pleasure trips through the country.
I still remember that weekend when we went to the mountains. It was a beautiful sight and Cathy couldn’t have chosen a better time and place to inform me the news of my life that I was going to be a father. There was no limit to my happiness but Cathy seemed unhappy. I tried to find out many a times but she would never tell me and would put it off for later. My work got so hectic in the coming weeks that we met each other only at night and never had much time to talk. Sensing her dissatisfaction, I intended to take the next week off and postponed all of my appointments. I needed her to know that I was there for her. I could not even dream of being that person who would regret later for not having spent enough time with his loved one. I took her to a resort on an Island near New Zealand. It was six a.m. in the morning when I woke her up and took her to the entrance of our hut. It was the most beautiful sight of the sun rising on horizon across the ocean. I said “Isn’t it beautiful?” She nodded in agreement. “But, not as beautiful as you will be” saying this I slipped a diamond necklace on her neck. She was speechless. I whispered, “I love you.” I could see the joy in her eyes and tears rolling down her beautiful red cheeks. I was glad to see her happy. She was all I had in my life. I always believed that I could keep her happy. As I was raised an orphan, I never knew the love of a parent. I wanted to have a child with her and I knew this would make us both very happy and proud.
We were nearing our second anniversary and she was four months pregnant. I planned to have a grand celebration at our place. I intended to surprise her by inviting her relatives. She loved her mother dearly and I knew she would be very happy to see her family. The day before our anniversary was a very bad day for me at the hospital. It was the first time that all of my surgeries resulted in the death of the patients. They were complicated surgeries and I knew there wasn’t much hope for success. But what were the odds of four unsuccessful surgeries in a day. It was frustrating. I had never felt myself tremble that much. I rushed home hoping to be comforted by my wife. I drove there as fast as I could. I was surprised to find my house locked. It was seven in the evening and I had expected Cathy to be home. I tried her mobile, but all I got was her voice mail. I called the University but I received no response. This worried me and I drove frantically to the office, only to be informed that she had already left. I tried her mobile again. Yet again, her voice mail greeted me. Not knowing what to do, I decided to wait for her at home and drove back. I was delighted to see the door unlocked and rushed in to find Cathy in the bedroom. I hugged her and told her how worried I was for the past half hour. She hesitated to tell me where she had been and noticing my weariness advised me get some sleep. Though I wondered why she was hesitant, I thought it would be best to discuss it later.
Later at dinner that night, I told her that we would be celebrating our anniversary at home. I noticed that she was unenthusiastic and sober. I asked her if everything was alright. I sensed that her gloominess had something to do with her absence that evening. I had never seen her so quiet and uncomfortable. Where she had been? and Why isn’t she telling me? were the only questions on my mind. For some reason the frustration of my days work had disappeared and my concern for her began to escalate. I sensed something was amiss. I asked her again for what had happened. She swallowed her food, took a deep breath and in a soft voice told me “Steve, I got an abortion”. I was dumbstruck. She continued “I always wanted to tell you that I could never love you. I am in love with someone else. He is my colleague at the University. I married you only because you are rich and thought being rich would make me happy. But I realize that it was a mistake. I don’t want this life anymore Steve, I want to be with someone I love. I know you love me very much and I always tried to reciprocate but I am sorry, I cannot keep up the act any more. I am sorry Steve.” She got off the table and went up to the bedroom. I was emotionless. My stomach felt weird and I lost my appetite. I sat there in disbelief. How could this happen. Where did I go wrong? Was she out of her mind? This can’t be right. Surely this is a dream. But it wasn’t. A door slammed above and brought me out of my thoughts. I looked around. Everything looked different. It was as if I had been orphaned again. I had lost all sense of belonging. I sat there staring blankly at first, then laughing, then crying, laughing again with tears rolling from my eyes. I could not understand what was happening to me and sat there laughing and crying at my own misery. There was nothing I could do about it, she had aborted my child and left me in the dark for ever. I left the house and went to get myself a drink. I am not sure how much I drank that night. I vaguely remember the bartender dropping me off at my door step. The next thing I knew, I woke up with a bad headache from the couch, thinking it to be a dream. The date on the calendar reminded me that it was our anniversary. I went up to the bedroom to find Cathy, still unsure of what had happened last night. But she was no where to be seen.
I am Stephen. J. Cogler, an unsuccessful husband sentenced for a life time in prison for the murder of Cathy. J. Cogler.
Comments